A long time ago, people used to tell magical stories of wonder and enchantment. Those stories were called fairy tales. Those stories are not in this book. The stories in this book are almost fairy tales. But not quite.
The stories in this book are Fairly Stupid Tales.
I mean, what else would you call a story like "Goldilocks and the Three Elephants"? This girl walking through he woods smells Peanut Porridge cooking. She decides to break into the Elephants' house, eat the porridge, sit in the chairs, and sleep in the beds. But when she gets in the house she can't climb up on Baby Elephant's chair because it's too big. She can't climb up on Mama Elephant's chair because it is much too big. And she can't climb up on Papa Elephant's bed because it is much much too big. So she goes home. The End. And if you don't think that's fairly stupid, you should read "Little Red Running Shorts" or maybe "The Stinky Cheese Man." In fact you should definitely go read the stories now, because the rest of this introduction just kind of goes on and on and doesn't really say anything. I stuck it on to the end here so it would fill up the page and make it look like I really knew what I as talking about. So stop now. I mean it. Quit reading. Click on the cheese guy. Turn the page. If you read this last sentence, it won't tell you anything.
Jack
Up the Hill
Fairy Tale Forest
1992
